Embracing Authenticity: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Personal Growth

It’s easier said than done, but aren’t all things? Embarking on a journey of self-reflection and healing isn't just about making a decision—it's about navigating the complexities of unlearning and relearning who you truly are. It requires the courage to challenge ingrained beliefs and behaviors, peeling away layers of societal expectations to uncover your authentic self, flaws and all. Among the greatest challenges is self-acceptance, embracing not only your strengths but your vulnerabilities with kindness. It's about offering yourself the same compassion you readily give to others. Despite its difficulties, this path becomes clearer with self-awareness, guiding you to understand your values, passions, and truths. As humans, we evolve and change, and through this journey, we learn to accept and appreciate our evolving selves. Embracing self-acceptance leads to profound personal growth and liberation, honoring your authentic self and creating space for growth, change, and compassion. 

I will be transparent about the challenges I faced on my journey of self-discovery. First, pinpointing my role meant understanding my origins—Tigray, Ethiopia—and the context of my upbringing: I was the daughter of young parents from a nation scarred by ongoing conflict and survival mode. Being the eldest daughter ingrained in me a deep-seated need to please my parents, particularly my hardworking mother who sacrificed immensely for my brother and I. I became a high-achieving student, driven by a desire to make her proud and alleviate her burdens. Saying "yes" to her demands, even when it stretched me thin, was non-negotiable; saying "no" felt unthinkable, as I'd never seen her falter. Masking my true desires and emotions became a habit as I strived to embody the "perfect child." My teenage years and early twenties were marked by performing to meet expectations rather than honoring my own needs. Pursuing a nursing career, despite lacking passion for science and pharmacology was another example—I chose it solely to fulfill my mother's dreams of an easier life for me, mirroring her selfless sacrifice. Emotions were relegated to nighttime tears; showing vulnerability seemed unjustified in a land of opportunity like the USA. This journey of self-awareness has led me to confront these patterns, unraveling layers of conditioned behavior and discovering the importance of prioritizing my own well-being and authenticity.

I was dedicated to self-learning from the very beginning, especially in understanding the biological, environmental, and social hierarchies that have shaped me—Hewan. While I am my own person, recognizing how these factors have influenced and continue to impact me has been a profound revelation. For example, I discovered that I was naturally inclined to please others (as mentioned in my earlier blog), tend towards perfectionism, project an image of independence (believing I can handle everything myself), and often suppress my emotions and personal needs in pursuit of external validation rather than internal fulfillment.

The journey of self-discovery has been transformative, teaching me invaluable lessons about self-acceptance, authenticity, and prioritizing my own well-being. One of the most profound shifts has been confronting the belief system ingrained in me from childhood—a fear of disappointing my hardworking mother. This fear kept me from expressing my true desires, such as pursuing Nursing instead of psychology, which I knew would have been financially secure but lacked personal passion. It was a daunting prospect to stand up and tell her, to express my deep-rooted feelings of wanting something different, to allow myself to experience and show emotions like crying, anger, and confusion. However, I reached a turning point where I decided to say "FUCK IT" to these constraints. Embracing vulnerability and authenticity, I faced the discomfort of challenging familial expectations to honor my true passion. This journey has taught me that honoring my authentic desires is essential for personal growth and fulfillment, regardless of external pressures or fears of disappointment. It's about embracing who I am, allowing myself to feel deeply, and pursuing a path that aligns with my true self.

After delving into what shaped me, I began noticing a significant shift in my relationship with both my mother and myself. Embracing authenticity and pursuing my true self became a beacon that even my brother admired. Standing firm in my decision to prioritize my career, despite initial resistance and emotional confrontations with my mother about choosing psychology over nursing—a career path I knew would fulfill me more—marked a pivotal turning point. It was a challenging yet empowering experience to articulate my needs and passions, and to defend my choices against doubts. This process shattered old expectations and allowed me to emerge happier, stronger, and more self-assured. It spurred me to delve deeper into emotional, mental, and spiritual self-healing. While every day remains a journey, asserting my beliefs, passions, and needs has created a more supportive and accepting environment for me, particularly with my mother, whom I'm fortunate to have grown closer to through this process. Not all parents may understand or accept such changes, but taking the first step is crucial. As the eldest child, I've learned to set my own standards and expectations, empowering myself to navigate life authentically. Having confronted my biological, environmental, and social hierarchies, I now focus on addressing other unconscious behaviors and thoughts that have shaped my journey towards personal growth and wisdom.

As the eldest child, sometimes our role extends beyond setting an example for our siblings—it also involves guiding and supporting our parents. Growing up with young parents, particularly my mother, provided me with a unique perspective. I not only learned to prioritize and assert myself but also took on a role in helping my mother break patterns of self-neglect. This journey of healing and awakening has been transformative, teaching me the importance of self-care, emotional expression, and seeking support from loved ones. Understanding that my parents are human beings first allowed me to foster a deeper connection with my mother, helping her to relax and embrace her emotions. Every day remains a journey of growth, but making the decision to prioritize healing has given me strength and confidence to follow my heart and intuition wholeheartedly.

In conclusion, my journey of self-discovery has been a profound exploration of authenticity, self-acceptance, and personal growth. By confronting ingrained beliefs and challenging familial expectations, I've learned to prioritize my own well-being and pursue my true passions fearlessly. This path has not only strengthened my relationship with myself but also deepened my connection with loved ones, particularly my mother. As I continue to navigate life with newfound clarity and authenticity, I invite you to embark on your own journey of self-discovery and embrace the transformative power of honoring your true self.

P.S. WHEN YOU HEAL YOU GLOW INSIDE OUT.. :)

 Let's inspire each other to grow, change, and create spaces filled with compassion and understanding.

How will you start your journey?